That’s right. I said Good Golly.
I’ve said this before, but if I were given the choice between being burned alive and freezing to death, I choose being burned alive. I don’t like being cold. I suppose it’s a holdover from my torture childhood in Kericho. It was a cold…it still is cold in Kericho and the cold, barren wasteland that is my soul—all of which combine to make me severely dislike the cold.
Cold weather is like a dementor: I feel like all happiness has gone from the world and I’ll never be warm again. There are few feelings in this world less enjoyable than getting into an ice cold bed at night shivering because the stupid electric heater in your house has decided that it’s going to overheat after 30 seconds or so and shut itself off, thus preventing your house from getting above 44 degrees inside because it’s 19 degrees outside, your windows and door leak like a sieve, and your floor is built directly on a concrete slab with absolutely no insulation.
I think that’s a little worse.
So, last I had to do one thing I loathe doing, and another thing I promised myself I would never do. First, I paid retail for charcoal. Second, I bought slippers. One is an epic waste of money. The other makes me feel like I belong in a nursing home. But it’s cold, dang it. And I was not going to spend the night huddled under a Snuggie watching TV and eating popcorn with Lee just to survive the weekend without a trip to the hospital to have my frostbitten toes removed before the gangrene sets in. Besides, how in the world will I get my bread to rise (not a euphemism) if it’s warmer in my refrigerator than it is in my kitchen?
I may just have to make mandazis tonight on the jiko or something to heat up my house. Yeah. Mandazis. For heat. Because, um, the jiko with charcoal… Yeah…
Ah well. I am, at least, grateful that I have a house (albeit a poorly insulated one with no heaters) that has a kitchen so if my jiko happens to be janky (ahem) I can at least camp out in front of the hearth. I’m also grateful, again, for the best present I have ever received from my friend, the warm fleece throw that I got for my birthday. Because you can bet your sweet bippy that I’m going to be completely disregarding the manufacturer’s instructions, and throwing that thing on my bed, covering up to my head (I hate that I cannot breathe if I do) and falling into a dead sleep.
Happy Monday, all!